Choosing to trust

Luke was giggling and asking where his Bob the Builder toy was and I was reminded again how blessed we are. This earthly home is not our home. By the way, "Bob" is Luke's newest word and it's exciting because it has a vowel and consonants strung together. It's so cute hearing him say it again and again. This is Bob...isn't he cute? It's one of Luke's favorite toys.

Okay, I've been wrestling with the response to the impending lay-off in my head all day. At times my head has been content to rest in Him and at other times I worry about tomorrow. The kids and I have talked about that towel that God gave us in a heavy rainstorm a few months ago. One of my children said, "Yeah, but you were being faithful." Well, doesn't that remind us to be faithful now? I think that choosing to trust doesn't mean we won't feel any fear. He takes care of even the sparrows and knows every single hair on our heads. Yes, these circumstances stink. Yet, the only thing I think I can do is to respond in the way God wants me to. So I will pray and I will choose to trust. Again and still. I will encourage my children to keep their eyes on Jesus. I will support my husband the best way I can. I will probably have to remind myself of this again, too.

I also have to say how proud I am of John. His response has been so much more calm and peaceful this time around. There is only one explanation: our Father.

My heart does hurt for my children. They are struggling some with this. I think we're all weary. It's been a long, difficult few years.

laid off again

Just got news that John has been laid off. Again. Position eliminated. Feeling sick.

Goodnight kisses

Look what I got to kiss tonight! Sweet boy is in his jammies, snuggling with his thumb and his mommy. I cherish these moments; they are the ones I dreamt of many a night listening to the ventilator noises. Tonight we were doing our normal prayers. Luke pops out his thumb and puts his cute little palms together and says "Nana and Papa" and names off every family member with his own little sound, then proceeds to hold up his thumb to tell God that's what he's thankful for. I'm thankful for thumbs, too, and for the precious moments with my children.

Luke seems to be past his cold. It never turned into anything major. Yay.

Unfortunately, Allie has it now. It's been worse for her; she's fairly miserable. Hoping it passes quickly for her, too. She's just racing through her kindergarten work. She wants to start cursive and first grade studies. I just have to laugh. She reminds me so much of me. Poor kid.

Danielle has her sights set on Senior Champs in San Antonio in February. She is qualified for 3 events. She had a good meet this last weekend and improved her times and endurance, which was her goal.

Jake has the Pinewood Derby this weekend. His last one before crossing over to Boy Scouts next month. I can't believe he's old enough to do that. He's going to be in middle school in the fall. Wow.

I'm in the process of exploring what's going on with my knee and ankle and it seems it is probably related to my spinal injury from our big car accident in 2005. Alignment issues have created a problem for me. Still putting puzzle pieces together. My MRI results are showing a sprained deltoid ligament and stress fracture in my ankle along with an Achilles issue and 2 stress fractures in my knee. So this marathon is out and I'm going to have to pick another finish line. So regrouping and rehabbing is the plan and will get back to training for the finish line that will be crossed. I'm disappointed, but thankful to have found a doctor who looks at the whole body and how it relates as a whole. I've been wishing for just such a thing since the car accident. Even so, I'm really really bummed.

On the photography front: been playing with different kinds of lighting and ISO settings. I had shied away from using fully manual settings and finally did. Got the shots I wanted. Yes!

the big guns

Okay... my ankle swelling just did not go down, so I broke down and started the Prednisone that Dr. B prescribed. The swelling has gone down just enough for me to actually see the outline of my ankle now. Now I can see a big hard knot on my ankle. I really hope that isn't my bone. I really hope that isn't anything else either.

The MRI results are in, but they haven't faxed them to me, so I'm WAITING...ever so IMpatiently. The original x-rays didn't show anything, so...what does that mean?

On another note, Luke woke up apparently sick this morning. Icky nose and a little cough and his voice sounds cold-like. I hope he gets through this without an ER visit. He's bigger now...

Danielle is on the last of her 4 day swim meet. She swims the 4oo IM this morning. It's been a good meet. She improved some times and showed more strength and endurance.

Jake and Allie are doing school work.

You know how they say a watched pot never boils? Wonder if that holds true for listening for the phone to ring to get a fax?!

Guess what we've been doing all weekend? Danielle's been doing a great job!

M

School has gone a little better this week. It makes all the difference when we start the day in God's Word and with prayer. I'm so guilty of being tired and getting up at the last minute and then we hit the floor running. But this week we've started the days differently. So...6 weeks to make it a habit...oh boy. I really hope to spend more time this way. It really is what's important and puts a better perspective on the day.

Allie was reading to Luke. So cute. I love sweet interactions between my kids. Jake was reading on the floor, which he does so often. I'm forever having to get his nose out of a book to come back and do school work.
Danielle has a big swim meet this weekend Friday through Monday with preliminaries in the mornings and finals in the evenings. She's hoping to qualify for a couple more events for Senior Champs. Right now she's qualified for 3 events for Senior Champs, which is great already. As for me, I get to play with the new camera lens I got for Christmas!
Luke has his first speech session in the morning in addition to the other 3 having guitar and piano lessons. Very exciting. Part of me is really going to miss this time with him, though. They just grow up so fast. It seems like just yesterday I sat rocking each of them, snuggling my nose into their sweet little cheeks.

See how I entertain myself while the kids are doing schoolwork sometimes? Photo taking that is, not necessarily eating them! Okay, maybe eating them, too. So much for running that extra mile, though. At least until I find out the results of the MRI, which was today. The tech said there is a chance the results could be ready by the end of the day tomorrow (Friday). I was supposed to run 26 miles Saturday. Obviously, there is no way. BUT, if the results go a certain way then I could at least possibly do a little something. I am praying that #1: we find out what's going on so we know what to do and #2: that we find out tomorrow!

MRI

Just got home from my appt w/ Dr. B. I just LOVE her. She makes you feel like you're the only patient she's got. We combed over the recent events with knee and ankle and she's totally supportive of helping me run this marathon so I can cross MY finish line. I told her about my visit with her partner and before I could even say very much, she gave me a knowing look and said she knows and she gets where I'm coming from, etc. Did I mention how much I just LOVE her? She's qualified for the national something or other in horse something or other and could completely relate with the goal and with being a mom.

We're doing an MRI on both my knee and ankle tomorrow and we'll make a plan asap. She said every day counts with our timeline so she'll give me results and we'll make a plan by phone if we need to. Unfortunately, part of that plan is likely cortisone injections (yes, that's plural) into the IT band at the knee (can I just say ouch!?). Probably one very soon and one before the marathon. Meanwhile, she's put me on oral cortisone to try to get a jumpstart on swelling even before the MRI tomorrow. I'll do any amount of injections or whatever if it means I can do this marathon! I'm just thankful it's at least still on the table. I'm hoping it's not a stress fracture, etc,. That could take the marathon off the table...for now anyway.

On other fronts, Luke starts his speech therapy on Friday morning! We're all so excited. We're starting with twice a week. He's been attempting more words lately. They're usually one sound out of the whole word, but he gets his meaning across. My sweet boy. We'll see what kinds of tricks Mrs. Katie has up her sleeve.

Danielle has a big 4 day swim meet this weekend. They're fun to watch, but it's going to be a long weekend with preliminaries and finals. She's hoping to qualify in a couple more events for Senior Champs which is next month. She's practicing 3 hours per day, 6 days a week. She'd do more if she could.

Jake is struggling with insomnia a little again. We'll see if the upping of his vitamins impacts it soon. You should see his hair. He likes it this way, but he looks like a mad scientist. Jake is crossing over from Cub Scouts into Boy Scouts next month. I can't believe he's 11 and is going to be a middle schooler next year.

Allie wants to plow ahead into 1st grade work and cursive. She's making up her own cursive. It's adorable. I'll have to take a picture of it and share. I have to say she has neater writing than her older siblings. Hmmm...maybe I ought to have them repeat the writing practice.

I don't do new year's resolutions, but if I did I think I'd have to make it spending more time in the Word. We had a great day Monday and, of course, we started with prayer and a devotion. A timer works wonders, too.

I adore my children. I adore my children. I adore my children. Bickering drives me crazy! WHY do they have to push each other's buttons the way they do. I'm so outnumbered. No wonder by the end of a day I have a stutter and a nervous tic! See why I need those runs!? Running = mental health. Okay, maybe photography, too.

Speaking of children, guess I better get back to them so we can eat lunch and finish the day's work.

DRAT

Just ran 9 of what was supposed to be 15 miles. It didn't go as I'd hoped. Lots of knee/ankle pain. I'm beginning to think the pain is originating at my ankle/achilles and causing knee pain. It's odd. Hope Dr. Bergin has some answers for me on Wednesday and I HOPE that one of them isn't don't run. I have my heart set on this Valentine's Day marathon. That finish line is calling my name. At this point, I'll be happy to finish it...not so sure time goal is going to hold. Praying for some solid answers about what's wrong, so I'll know what to do about it!

It was cold out there: 37 degrees. Used my MP3 player for the first time. It was really nice to get lost in some music.

Just stretched and now for the shower!
Luke is past the contagious part of his chicken pox. Thankfully, he and Allie both seemed to breeze through it. It wasn't terrible at all.
Danielle has a big swim meet next weekend.

Hoping to get to watch a movie and sit by the fire tonight! I have so much to do, but that just sounds so good.

Off to the shower and heated tile!! Yay.

Marathon Mentality back on

Okay, marathon mentality back on! Got my bone scan results from yesterday and there is no stress fracture. YAY...I was trying to make my mind okay with lowering my hope for the finish line and wasn't really succeeding. That was the good news.

The less than great news was that something else is going on with that knee that they want to "explore." I have no idea what that means and I have to wait till my appt in a week to know. Torture. I've already had 2 knee surgeries and I REALLY hope it's not something that requires another. I'd cry. I feel sick, just sick. I don't even think I could eat chocolate right now...you KNOW it's bad.

5 weeks and 2 days till the marathon!

Pictures are worth a thousand words

This about says it all today!

Love this figurine.

Angels

Finally got all my angel pictures up on the wall. My favorite pics!

projects!

Guess what this is? The light looking thingie is the heater in the master bathroom ceiling that my very handy husband installed, and the thermostat thingie? Well, that's the controller for the heated tile in the bathroom that was installed, but not wired sometime during the turtle marathon (Luke's sick/hospitalization times) of the last 2 years. Well, John got the wiring completed last weekend and I got to use it for the first time after my 24 mile run. LOVE IT! It was worth the wait. Thank you handy husband!

So the top picture? That's the result of what has become the newest addition to our project list. I discovered a lake under my sink a couple of months ago. So out came the soggy cabinet and soaking wet drywall. Sigh...one of these days that list will get shorter.

For now, I'll enjoy the warm floor and ignore the newest construction zone!

Radioactive

I'm radioactive! Hey, isn't that a song? At least for a few hours-the radioactivity, I mean.

Just had the bone scan on my knee. Hoping for no stress fracture. I didn't know they were going to inject me with radioactive isotopes. The scanning thing was very cool, though. You can see the radioactive dots eminating from your body. Wish I'd had my camera with. It's a little big to stick in my pocket.

I think I need lunch!

Did I mention that Luke has chicken pox? Poor kid. He's got them worse than Allie's were. At least he's not radioactive! He's supposed to have his first meeting for an eval with his speech therapist on Friday and we really need to get started. He is saying "ow" now, so that makes 5 words. He points to a chicken pox (is it pock that's singular?) and says "ow." We'll see if he's past the contagiousness by Friday.

Doorbell...oh yeah, lunch and back to school.

Doctor, Doctor--gimme the news!

Our spunky future doctor!

Hammer

Luke's new toy. He loves hammering. Now, if I can just convince him that the hammer isn't meant for my walls!

Luke saluting in his little GI get up. Tam and Luke training for Tam's marathon. Like his sock mittens? Very fashionable!

kiddos

Spontaneous pics of the kids. I loved the lighting that day.

Danielle-13

Jake-11

Allie-5

Luke-2

leaves

Love the color of fall leaves! This was right in our front yard. Look at the color of that sky!

Sound of flowing water

One of my favorite things is the sound of flowing water. There is something so natural and beautiful about it. This was my favorite spot at the creek at Mayfield Park. The water was gently flowing and the sun was shining brightly on a crisp December day.

Wee! Look mom.

Luke and Papa having a blast. Luke loved jumping off of anything he could get his very cool rubber boots on!

Allie up the creek

Our sweet, spunky 5 year old.

Beauty

Mayfield Park on a beautiful clear day over Christmas break. Loved the sky and sun through the trees.

Allie

Allie at

Allie at Mayfield Park. Beautiful day out just exploring. This creek sounded so peaceful.

Santa who?

How do you think this photo op went? Do you think Luke actually climbed into Santa's lap and smiled for me? Nope...you guessed it! He gave him a hug, but wanted no part of sitting in his lap. He's asking his daddy, "you want me to what?"

Danielle's freestyle event in a December swim meet. She's qualified for Senior Champs in 3 events: 50 free, 100 breast, and 200 breast. She is hoping to qualify in even more during her meet in January. It's a prelim and finals meet Friday through Monday. Sr. Champs will be held in San Antonio the weekend of Feb. 19.

Danielle swims M-Sat. 3 hours per day. You could say she really likes it!

I have to add: this photo was taken with my very cool 70-300mm lens sitting in the stands at the UT Swim Center. Very cool!

fish

Jake's new fish! Guess what happens when you use a net to catch a catfish? Who knew they have spikes on their fins. Not me. Not Jake. We finally cut the net off of him and he swam around for a long time with a piece of net. Guess what happens when the nitrogen levels aren't right in the tank? Yep...that's right. Lessons learned the hard way.

marathon at all?

Okay, so my knee is hurting and really impacted my 24 miler on Saturday. Saw a doctor today and because of my osteopenia he's assuming it's a stress fracture over IT band. Bone scan in the morning. I didn't appreciate his advice based on guesses and assumptions and will be getting a second opinion. I want to make decisions based on facts, not guesses. I'm frustrated and really pray I get to do this marathon. This is MY finish line...Wah...

Luke has chicken pox. He's being a trooper. Sweet boy.

We're struggling to get back to a normal routine after the much needed Christmas break we just came back from. Really needed it to be longer. Think I'll talk to the teacher/planner...oh, yeah. That's me. Think next year I'll make it a 3 week break!

Okay, then. More tomorrow.